Friday, July 13, 2012

Will you be my neighbor?

It's amazing how time flies, and it is truly amazing to me that it has been nearly 9 months since I last wrote anything for my loyal and dedicated fans... All one of you. (For I am truly nothing without my fan.)

So many years ago, in a far, far land of fire and hot molten asphalt known simply as Yuma, AZ, I learned one very important lessons. The lesson I learned that hot and smoldering day in Yuma was one taught to me by my great uncle while I was a young lad awaiting my parents return in his business office.
“So Brian, in this life you gotta know people, and I mean really get to know them, as it helps you learn their strengths and weaknesses and how good and honest they are. It's like gardening...”says my uncle Harold as he picks up a watering can.

“Oh?” I say, only half paying attention as I was only 5 at the time and just glad to be in air conditioning.

“Yes, it's like gardening... You have to know your plants in order to know how much water they need, or if they like it in the shade, or need special food. This is important as you want to see your plants grow and thrive. Like this plant here I've watered every day for the last decade without fail...” he says proudly as he pours water onto plant.

“Um...” I say as I start to touch the plants leaves. “Uncle Harold... This plant is made of wax.”

“What?!” Harold says. “Uh... So Brian... Do you want a lolly?”

Despite the mean swerve in this early lesson, my uncle did have a valid point. You do need to know people or rather get to know people and this has been something that seems to be a theme that I've encountered a lot lately in my day to day life. In any role you play be it dentist, dictator, or debutante it is ideal to know those who are in your life. (Especially the dictator!)

A leader can't send in just any soldier for an important mission, he's gotta send one he trusts. You wouldn't just let anyone handle the food you eat every day would you? No! That unknown person could be spitting into your burger every single time! And really that's kind of a best case scenario. (And another reason why I dislike eating at fast food joints!)

In this modern world though, it seems that this lesson is one easier said than done, and this is based solely on something I had thought I was the only one guilty of doing, until recently.

“Ding! Dong!,” says my over exuberant door bell as it is performs it's only duty in life.

“Ack...” I say silently as I duck down behind the couch for fear that this unexpected mystery visitor may have spotted any hints that I may actually be at home.

“Shuffle shuffle...” is the noise my shirt makes as I do an army crawl with ninja like stealth to a safe window I can peek out of unnoticed and assess the potential lethality of these would be assassins.

….Meanwhile in the far distance (the couch two feet next to me) my wife rolls her eyes at me and my odd shenanigans.

“So... I says to Mabel... I says...” says the elderly church woman from next door to her friend as they hold on tight to the chocolates they are selling for the neighborhood school drive as they patiently await someone to answer the door.

So really, what I am trying to say is get out there and get to know your “neighbor.” He or she may turn out to be a really a nice person if given the chance to prove it. Why is it we fear getting to know other people as close to us as our neighbors? Getting to knowing people doesn't hurt, and who knows it may prevent you from having a few meals where your food consist of 2% spit or at the very least you'll have more opportunities to buy chocolate.